HAPPY

Three, two, one.. She's back in the room.

A month has passed since my previous post. Life of course has continued, clothes have been sold, jobs have started, money is being made and sh*ts falling into place. It's been a process (still on going), surfing that ol' life tsunami. But the waters seem to be mellowing, my boards a bit broke but I'm still standing and honestly, I'm feeling happy.

That's not to say I haven't been happy but rather it feels more prominent, I'm aware it is there. I'm not searching for it and it's no longer simply an adjective. My heart feels warm and radiating. Things are settling, but I no longer feel stagnant.

I think it helps that I am working again, and earning. Furthermore, it's made a monumental difference doing something I love, which is working outside with horses and I really could not be more grateful that things have worked out this way. I have also sold half of my belongings on eBay and now dress like a homeless, 9 year old stable boy but that's chill, as I can see that plane ticket poking its head over the horizon, and my trip seems to be more real and achievable by the day.

Whilst living my best life, shovelling barrow fulls of horse sh*t, stuffing 20 million hay nets (exaggeration) and relentlessly sweeping a barn (not exaggeration), my lungs and head have been allowed to breathe. The brain fog has dissipated, and this new space has allowed my brain juices to get a flowin'. I thought I would entertain you all with few of my discombobulated food for thoughts, perhaps you can relate or even seek solace. Maybe neither, but I felt compelled to write them down:

1) I would like to be doing things which are either making me 'grow' or that make me happy. I think these two things go hand in hand, but I'd also be cool with one or the other. I don't want to settle for the make believe but rather experience the genuine, half glass full, real deal happy. I would like to also avoid doing things simply 'for the sake' of doing them. This welcomes wishes for days to end, and puts pressure on the next day being better, often inviting disappointment. Instead I want to start appreciating the now, and feel sad for the day to be over, however excited at the prospect of the next.

2) I think (or rather, I know) that everyone is different. We're all programmed differently, and grow up and learn in varying environments. What makes me tick, grow or happy may be what makes another static, low and miserable. However, we're all victim to expectancy. There seems to be an unwritten rule for us all to live and follow a relatively similar lifestyle: School...university...a job...marriage..Before you know it, you've blacked out in this monotony of life and now have debt, four kids, eight dogs, a goat and you're wondering who you are, what your name is and where the time went.

Unless, of course, this ticks all your boxes and you're happy, feel fulfilled or as though your life is continuing to progress. Fulfilment and happiness don't necessarily have to take shape as a high powered, multi-million earning job, with a house in Calabasas and a red sports car. Perhaps for somebody, but not everybody. Happiness is specific to each person and can be reached by an array of variations or combinations. One day the key will fit or you'll break the lock, it's all about trial and error. Basically, just go live your life the way you want to. Expectancy can eat my shorts.

3) Lastly, it's ok not to be ok. There are going be some days that are dark and you feel miserable, irritated and maybe even a bit hopeless. But there will also be days where you pee yourself laughing, smile to your hearts content and think how lucky you are. I promise you, these days do exist, time isn't your enemy but your friend.

I felt a little inspired this week by BBC Desert Island Discs with Professor Tanya Bryon, a clinical psychologist who specialises in emotional issues and mental health difficulties that affect people of all ages. Whilst I was in Wyoming I listened to this same podcast once a week and found it really up lifting. I've listened to many others, such as: Tom Hanks, Dawn French, Dustin Hoffman (to name a few) but I think Tanya Byrons will always remain one of my favourites. She's a pretty inspiring lady, who makes you think about the bigger picture. I hope it warms the cockles of your heart, and makes you aware of the opportunities that lie before you. I've put the link below, but in case you don't listen she's quoted saying:

I do have a particular desire to enable young people on the cusp of what could be the most extraordinary life, to live, and live well.

If you find the time, take a listen: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03f87bb

So there you are, a few ramblings that hopefully got you thinking. I initially envisioned this post demonstrating a structured travel plan, celebrate the purchase of my flights, and portray myself as a really put together and organised individual. However we ain't quite there yet. But that's ok. Life is good. I am happy.

Que sera, sera.

More to come..

G x

Happy Ramblings:

Somewhere - Aretha Franklin

Fearless - Pink Floyd

My Guy - Mary Wells

Do Right Woman - Aretha Franklin

Sweet Thing - Van Morrison

I Wish I Knew How It Would Fell to Be Free - Nina Simone

La Bamba - Ritchie Valens

The World Is Yours - Nas

Three Little Birds - Bob Marley & The Wailers

When The Morning Comes - Daryl Hall & John Oates

Son Of A Preacher Man - Dusty Springfield

https://open.spotify.com/user/gccc10/playlist/5GDjO8hPsopZ3V1inUUjPK?si=nedFGSCPQUmvWkvJnSlYrA